On the death of a former student

I try to make this a silly, happy, family journal.  But life isn't always silly and happy, and that's okay.  As we look back once these blogs are printed into our cute, little books (we have two years on the shelf!), it's life, good and bad.  With that, here we go...

"I, the teacher, will have you, the student, in my class for one year. After that, I may never see you again. But I will spend the rest of my days entertaining hopes and dreams for your future success. " - Frances Peacock, educator

This past weekend, for the second time in my career, I experienced the death of a former student.  There's something really odd, emotionally, about this experience.  When they're in your classroom, students are SO meaningful.  It's "their" desk, you grade papers, know their ups and downs, and write recommendations trying to highlight their great parts, while not too terribly sugar-coating their weaknesses.  But once they leave you for the next grade, level, school, etc., the immediate impact of a death isn't there.  There's no empty desk.  There's no pile of papers you'll never return.  There are, in both cases, no crying classmates to sit and talk to-- they've moved on as well, to college and jobs.  It's gut-wrenching to see their posts online, hinting to the sadness, fear and why's that spring to mind.  These immerging adults will be shaped by events in their life, and this will be one of them. 

I'm a trained counselor.  I know the stages of grief.  It's not really grief, especially if the student was not one you stayed in touch with.  But it is a loss.  Most impactful is the feeling it gives you to value the time you have with your students.  To teach them as much as you can while you can, because your time with them, and thus your impact, can be limited.  I think I did this with Mphatso, as I think back.  At least I hope I did...

When bad things happen in the world around us, people jump up to do something good.  They donate blood, they donate money, the volunteer.  I'm lucky enough to work in a field where I do good, either directly or indirectly, everyday.  It's what keeps me going.  It's what keeps me on the computer searching from grants at 8:00pm.  I think I can....